July Book Club: I Want This To Work
If you know me, you know how much I love books (reading them, buying them, talking about them, wandering amongst them at any used book store I can find.) Book Club is a monthly post about a book I’ve read–and recommend–because books can be one of our greatest therapeutic tools.
I’m always on the lookout for a book that couples can use to supplement our work together in therapy. For years, the go-tos have been books by John and Julie Gottman, and while I have the utmost respect for their work (Gottman’s research really kickstarted my interest in working with couples way back in my undergrad years), their original books are closely approaching their 40th birthdays.
I Want This To Work is like the cool, modern child to The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work. Author Elizabeth Earnshaw is a marriage and family therapist and is trained in the Gottman method, but she also pulls from mindfulness, internal family systems, and other therapy methods and models. This book seems to cover everything, from boundaries to expressing appreciation to attachment styles.
Who’s this book for? Couples who are highly motivated to improve their relationship, either using this book as a supplement to therapy or as a refresher. Or, you know, for your dogs who are looking for a new pillow.
What this book is not: A replacement for couples therapy, particularly for deeper issues around high conflict or differences in commitment.
Favorite part: By now, you know how much I love a therapy book that has action items! This one takes it one step farther, and is full of color-coordinated diagrams, formulas, charts, and pictures to illustrate the message for all you visual learners!
